Working in the Rain

Posted on May 11, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

Soon I will have been here for a month, although it seems like less than that. I feel as though I am drifting. Maybe I should make a list of things I want to accomplish here. That way I know how far I am deviating from it.

Today, amongst the showers, I mostly worked on the second garden plot. I finishing the first layer of turf, then the second stick layer and then I hauled a couple of buckets of muck from the swamp. Even when it dries out it is rich and black, so I have great hopes for its fertility. I still have twenty or so buckets to haul, and the distance to the swamp, about two hundred feet, feels like much longer by the time I return with a bucket. I meant to check for fiddleheads today, but the weather was unsettled and so I didn’t want to go on too many possibly pointless errands. The brakes here have just begun to erupt, so the fiddleheads near the creek will be another few days I would guess.

I tarried near the swamp today, picking out rocks and even shoveling out some muck in the main swamp. I’m not sure I will ever be able to make something of that sometimes pond, but I will pick away at it. I saw some bees buzzing around some early catkins on a tree rather like a willow. I wondered what they would find to eat so early in the season.

After I did some garden work, I was distracted by the pond, IMG_8064_smallwhat I should be calling the hole. I shoveled and picked away at it with my mattock and shovel and managed to double its size. I still can’t tell how deep I will be able to go, but I am not there yet at least.

Once the rain was too heavy to continue, I went to the new part of the cabin and worked on the hinged counter for my kitchen, the window box holders for the window boxes from Mike and Carol, and another few feet of wall in the south east corner of the new part. I am working on that wall slowly. That is largely because I don’t have building plans after that is done. There is no hurry when I have no other rainy day project. I will have to invent one when I am done the walls and gable ends. I am planning a shelf for the same corner, although I may be shelf heavy by the time I am done. I seem to use them all, if only for knickknacks, but they make a place look cluttered.

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Another Rainy Day

Posted on May 10, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

Today was another rainy day, so I stuck close to home. I worked on the second garden plot, digging at the pond and tearing up sods and moving those to cover the pin cherry sticks. I brought a bucket of muck from the swamp as well, although I don’t have enough room in the plot yet to bring more muck. Between rains as well I clipped bushes and raspberry canes to clear up the garden. When the rain drove me inside I read part of a novel and then did some inside work on the new part. I am trying to finish what I can of the tongue and groove cedar, at least until I run out of foam for insulation. When I was working on that task, I became tired though, feeling the impact of my nap yesterday and staying up late last night. Maybe I will go to sleep early tonight, although I am knee-deep into Greg Bear’s Eternity, the sequel to Eon which I read yesterday and today.

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Muck in the Garden

Posted on May 9, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

It was chilly this morning so I waited for a bit of sun before I ate my breakfast outside. I didn’t want to have a fire, since it was likely going to warm up, so I opened the windows between the porch and the main cabin and opened up the door to the new part. I also set up my water bag for the shower hoping it would warm up enough I wouldn’t have to have a cold shower.

I began the day’s work by cutting some tongue and groove cedar and working on the south wall of the new part. It goes quick when I actually set out to do it. Once I had tired of that job I went to the creek to oil my log for my new bridge. I hope I get a chance to use it. I think I might just winch it into place as it is, even though it is far too heavy. At least that way I would get some use out of it before it rots. I don’t think I should wait for Dennis’ chainsaw anymore.

Once that was done, I took apart a pallet for its plywood, and just as clouds began to threaten I came back to the cabin to shower. The water was delightfully warm and it was nice to wash off the day. Then I read Greg Bear’s Eon for a bit and took a two hour nap. Likely I’ll be up late now but it is a luxury to be able to sleep when I will and when I’m tired.

In the late evening, around eight, I began to ferry muck from the swamp. It makes a redolent and satisfying slop on my new garden bed that I think will be really good soil. I began the other bed this evening as well, and then occupying the dying light by breaking up dead pin cherry trees for compostable in the garden IMG_8060_smallbed. I should try to bring two buckets of muck from the swamp every day. Then my second garden bed will be ready to go when June first rolls around. I should set up my plants in the greenhouse as well, although it is still cold at night.

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Quiet in the Cabin

Posted on May 8, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

Surprisingly, I took a while to get to sleep, but when I did I slept well and with a few interruptions, right until eleven in the morning.

Once I was finally out of bed, and it was chilly in the cabin this morning in the rain, I prepared for going to Millville and brought my window boxes from Mike and Carol to the greenhouse. IMG_8065_smallThey had dried somewhat from the muck I’d raked from the swamp so they were a bit lighter. I also set up a couple of buckets to start their drying too, after I filled them with more muck. I clipped the trail a bit, since I will be carrying muck for the garden.

Interestingly, the salamander I thought I’d been responsible for killing—since I found its body the next day after I’d scraped muck with my boot and scared him OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAout into the open—may not be my fault. I found the parts to three salamanders today, for I’d not bothered to scrape out the bodies before. The looked fake and rubberish, but there were three missing their heads. Someone with a taste for salamander heads must have eaten them, although I can’t imagine why they didn’t eat the bodies as well. It’s nice to know it is a natural phenomenon of some kind and not my interference.

I also did some work in the greenhouse to prepare it for growing vegetables. Soon there should be some tasty food growing here. I dug a bit on the pond too, but it didn’t really hold my interest.

Before I left the land I emptied the car of pallets and since the road has been graded somewhat it was easier to drive.

It had occurred to me that Kim’s van was not really legal to drive until Monday’s inspection, so I told her that and we decided to put off getting my books. I spent some time with Miriam and Dennis went to get Erin in Nackawic. When he returned it was late and he was a bit cranky anyway, so it was time to leave. I wonder if I also get in moods where I am inclined to argue everything someone says. Perhaps we are all subject to that.

I came back while there was still just enough light to negotiate the trail and started a fire when I arrived to warm the cabin for the night. I’m glad to be back here.

Eileen and I talked about our relationship, which is difficult to talk about without mentioning Colleen. I used the term triumvirate a few times, since we really developed our relationship as a group. We went through a few seminal moments and Eileen gave me a beautiful compliment. She talked about the growing trust between us and how for her this provided evidence that there were people out there who would not take advantage of her and loved her for herself, and also that it enabled the laying down of new memories which overwrote the old ones. We come to our relationship at what might be an important time for all of us. Eileen and I talked about that. In her case, it was a time of wondering about trust, and for me, just coming out of a long relationship and not feeling that great about important I am to other people, this relationship comes at a good time as well. I’m not sure about Colleen. Perhaps for her, reaching out to the world that is beyond her friendship group and finding this strange relationship, Eileen and I satisfy something in her as well.

The quiet in the cabin on a still night is hard to describe. Sometimes, such as in the rain or wind, there are a few noises. When I have a fire, it roars and crackles through the stillness. Tonight the fire is dying and there is no wind. It is so still that every movement I make is accompanied by a noise I would not usually notice. I can hear my feet against the rug, the keyboard rattling and the movement of my shirt against my neck when I turn my head. If I were in the trees there would be the small sounds of creatures practicing their trade in the darkness, but inside, with the cabin well insulated, it is a vacuum of sound, a black hole that has lost its appetite for light and has gone after a slowly moving wave.

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Dean Koontz’s Innocence

Posted on May 7, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

Dean Koontz’s Innocence likely deserves or at least should be subject to, a mention of some kind. It was so vividly told, and with such evocative imagery, that I expected more from it than a hackneyed Eden story. The magic and mystery of the underground world, the evil of various people in the city, the wonder of a new friend with similar limitations as our hero are made maudlin when we realize it is a tale almost Christian in its simplicity.

The two part ghosts we see through the hero’s eyes, invisible to all others, become trite angels and demons, while the evil of humanity is so profound in this cynical vision of us, that no one can bear to look upon our hero. He is an intolerable reminder that we have sinned, and even the best people in the novel cannot bear being confronted with that knowledge of themselves. Is that really true?

Are we so blinded by our own petty desires and evil wishes that we become ravening lunatics at the sight of someone who is innocent. Why not kill all babies then? Surely they are innocent, although in this Christian telling they are guilty of the first sin as well and therefore tainted enough that we can endure their sight.

Although that may not be the most grievous problem the book has, it spoke the most to me. What vision of humanity allows someone to see such unmitigated evil so generously spread through all people that they cannot even stand the sight of a mirror? That’s right. The Christian vision allows that nicely.

By the end of the novel all of the regular humans are dead, and our hero and heroine, with four children only two of whom are related (in case our sinful minds wonders about the incest of the first Garden of Eden) settle into a peaceful glade where the lion lies down with the lamb, although billions of humans have been wiped from the map. Once again, the Christian story, in an effort to cleanse the filthy human, must resort to genocide.

There is no killing in this new world. Even the bears eat fruit, we are told. That is well and good. Perhaps the god that brought this new paradise to pass was replete when the other seven billion humans were tragically murdered.

These simplistic fantasies have an easy hold on our minds. It is comforting to think that if we could only kill almost everyone, then we could live in peace.

Unfortunately, in at least one way I have to agree with the book. The problem with that vision is that the glory and depravity of humanity does not merely reside in an other. It is all of us. Around us now for over a hundred thousand years we’ve had those who tried to build something out of human culture, who tried to add to the edifice of what we are, and we’ve had those who tried to tear it down because it did not satisfy their fantasy, or ideology, or fancy. Koontz’s book does not add to the wonder of Innocence in the world. Instead, it is one which is deeply guilty of the problems we are trying to escape.

The answer to human striving is never murder, regardless of what old books say, and we are all equally special, rather than a particular chosen few. Koontz would have us wait for an old myth to come true rather than merely enact one. We know already how to make this world a garden, and many thousands of people are working toward that goal.

All we really need is for the inertialess masses to stop believing in such Koontz-like nonsense, to stop waiting for manna from the sky and start to work making the world of angels they ostensibly dream of.

Don’t worry about the evil people you think so much of. If you merely strive to make the world better it will be as if those others didn’t exist. For under the beautiful language and old testament rhythms of the book, evil lurks in its premises.

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Back in the Bush

Posted on May 7, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

I dropped by Millville on the way to the bush and stayed there quite late, setting up a Saturday trip to Houlton, Maine, and how I would come out tomorrow. When I got to the land it was pitch dark, and around eleven-thirty. I waded the creek in sandals using my keychain flashlight which faded more and more as I walked into the bush. I even stepped off the trail a few times.

Finally, I arrived and was soon packing away my groceries and then I went straight to bed. I’d been up until four in the morning the night before talking to my Leens. It was great to hear from them again and confirm that our relationship still holds. I guess I worry about the temporary nature of their feelings. That is likely due to my recent breakup and how unexpected it was, at least for me.

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Sunny Days, in Some Ways

Posted on May 1, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

April 30

I came back to the bush today. I was late getting in, since I had stopped at Dennis’ to collect my inverter I’d left with him for the winter. Unfortunately, he didn’t know where it had been stored so I left without it, although it was nice to spend time with Miriam and Dennis. It helps to dispel some of the feelings I had the last time I was there on my way to Fredericton the day before.

Since I left at eight-thirty, I was until nine-thirty getting to the cabin. I had to drive the dirt road carefully, since it is heavily rutted and almost impassable, and then I decided to unload the pallets I’d picked up in Fredericton before I left the car. Once that was done the dusk had deepened, so it was near dark when I slipped out of my pants and socks and crossed the creek with a pair of boots I am keeping near the creek for that purpose.

Once I was here, I built a fire and settled in with the Niven book I’d not finished the few days before. The Kobo is working better now that I updated its drivers and it actually remembers what book I was last reading.

I was asleep by midnight, tired from the day although it was nice to lunch with Suzanne and Andrea.

Friday, May 1

I was awake at eight-thirty or nine with noises but when I uncovered to listen more closely I heard nothing to be concerned about. The noises might be explained by the rabbit fur in the yard, but I’m not certain how long it has been there. Since the rain at least.

Once I lay in bed for a while, pondering the dream that escapes me now, I rose and built a fire to warm the cabin up. The day proved to be sunny and hot, but it was nice to have a warm cabin to eat breakfast in.

Today was quite busy. I did a bit of a walk around, put together my new idea for a hot water heater, did some reorganizing of the tin shed and then worked in the workshop for a while sorting and putting things away.

I also used the car bulb that Dennis gave me for Christmas to work in the lamp made largely from copper which I took from pieces of a wrecked boat on the west coast of Vancouver Island in the eighties. Now the lamp works well, although it is a bit blue. I also shoveled snow for the fridge, since my snow is disappearing quickly in these temperatures. I put snow around it and then covered that with metal and feed bags. It is keeping the food at just above freezing, about five to eight degrees.

Since I set up the solar shower earlier today, it was actually too hot this evening when I was cooking dinner outside. It was so warm in the porch and greenhouse, I used them to warm the cabin and it became twenty-two in here. Now I have closed up the place to hold the heat for it is going to get chilly tonight apparently.

I was busy all day today, fiddling with one thing and another. It’s nice to have a warm day to work. It’s now eight in the evening and I am going to settle in for a read.

Saturday, May 2

It was another warm and sunny day and I spent most of it wandering my land. I did some bush trimming in the morning and then ate breakfast in the sun. I didn’t put on a fire this morning and it was warmer in the sun outside than it was in the cabin.

When I finished the morning tasks, which included setting up the solar shower for the afternoon, I took my compass and my hatchet went to the back of my property. I trimmed away from bushes and branches from my trail, at least until the swamp, where I uncovered a salamander when I moved mud to widen the drainage of the trail. Once I was at the gravel pit area, I left the hatchet in a tree while I went further back to Otter Brook. I was hoping, since I was following moose tracks, I’d find a moose there, but instead the broad swamp made by the beaver pond only showed two ducks who left as soon as I arrived although I was some two hundred metres away.

The trip back was quicker, since I wasn’t cutting brush. Once I returned I had some lunch and then read and napped a bit before I went to the front of my property and along the creek. I went downstream first and then up as far as the old logging road that climbs from the bank to swing gently towards my land. Bashful has been making a trail over there as well, apparently, for someone has been cutting branches from the balsam firs. The way to get to my cabin from that trail is always tricky and this time was no exception, for I lost my way and finally just followed a swampy section of ground and came out by the swamp south of the cabin.

It was late in the afternoon by then so I built a fire and cooked falafel which I ate on bread with peperoni and humus. The air cooled quickly with the dwindling sun, and soon I was showering with the water that had retained its heat in the greenhouse.

It’s strange not to have a fire; I’ve been so accustomed to it at night. I never have one in the summer, largely because it gives a smoky taste to the water and the climate is rarely cool enough to require it. The cabin is holding the heat though, and it was twenty-five in here today. It’s still twenty at eleven at night.

Sunday, May 3

I woke up early this morning to a cabin that had retained more heat. It was still chilly, but around 15 degrees inside. Since it was another sunny day, it warmed up quickly and I ate breakfast outside again taking advantage of the lack of bugs.

After I ate, I cut some bushes, cleared the path to the eastern line, and built the bed for my first garden box. I hauled dirt for it and also lined it with dead black cherry poles which should rot quickly when buried. I have still to layer more dirt, but I am hoping to make a couple of these garden boxes and then start growing food. Then I went to the road wearing shorts and sandals from Franziska and waded the stream. I organized some stuff in the pallet shed and looked at the bridge for what work I might need to do to make it viable. I also took apart two pallets which I had taken for the shit board tops. The other three pallets are for the bridge pylon, when I get around to doing that. Tomorrow is supposed to be warm so perhaps I can do it then.

When I finished with the pallet shed I shouldered one solar panel from Dennis’ barn in its box and brought it across the stream trying to keep it dry.

When I was resting on the step after my return, I heard voices and when I listened more, I heard them closer. Then I recognized Miriam’s and then Dennis’ voice and soon, with Erin accompanying them, they came down the path. Dennis had found my inverter so I will soon have 120 volt electrical power, and they also came out because it was a sunny day with no bugs.

It was a nice visit, for they stayed for three hours or so and we caught up on some family news. I walked them out to the road as is my wont and when I said goodbye Dennis asked when I was coming out of the bush again. I assured him I would be leaving the bush sometime this week. Then I picked up the remaining two solar panels in their joined box and carried them into the bush. Once I arrived, I considered how much easier it is to wire them in when it’s dark, so I unpacked them and settled them into their cradle on the roof. Once I wired them in I pushed in the fuse and the other charge controller came online. Now it is worth running the inverter and some of my equipment I’ve been waiting for.

I was tired when I finished that, so I showered while the water was still a bit too warm and as the sun descended I listened to CBC and ate a cold but healthy dinner.

The show on CBC, which is called rewind, was about Vietnamese Boat people, so I thought to make a note here for Colleen for she will surely be interested.

I wonder how my Leens are doing. Dennis reminded me today that I’ve been in the bush for two weeks now, although most of it has gone quickly. I wonder how Colleen is doing. Hopefully both her and Eileen are enjoying their time together. I look forward to seeing them again. I feel a bit cast adrift here in some ways. I’ve got some good friends here but they are busy with their own lives. Even in Winnipeg when I am working sixty hours a week I am never so busy with my life that I have no time for friends, as I’m sure Tara can attest, but I’ve lived my life differently in so many ways it’s starting to catch up with me now.

Monday, May 4

I took a while to get going today, and one of the plans was to put in the bridge. It was meant to be hot, and it was, going up to twenty-five degrees. Therefore I did some bush cutting in the morning and then worked on the garden box. Once I had brought over the dirt from a compost heap I’d made a few years ago, I tried scraping in the forest floor for dirt. That is nowhere near as easy as it sounds. The good black soil is shallow here, no more than an inch or two, and then it is clayey sand and then red earth. The nutrient layer is so shallow, and so root-bound that digging in it is a real task. I persisted and eventually had a decent pile over the garden box but I have no idea how I will supply the next one.

Then I decided, since I was digging in the dirt anyway, and it was in the shade, to see how deep I could dig where I am thinking to make a pond. It turns out to be at least two and a half feet of red earth and rocks and there may even be more. So perhaps I will work on that pond enterprise after all. I kept the cabin closed up today until evening when it was beginning to cool down outside. There is a fire ban on, and I didn’t really want to make a fire and cook anyway, so I made tofu and humus sandwiches and then when it was getting dark I took a shower. The water in the solar shower had cooled by that point to it was more comfortable. It heats so much during the day that you would scald yourself if you tried to shower in midday.

Tuesday, May 5

I decided I would do some digging on the pond, if it becomes that, and work on the garden some more, so I hauled some more dirt for the garden box and dug the pond a bit deeper. Before I could dig, I cut some of the small maples that were growing around the area. The chainsaw with my new one hundred foot cord worked great, and that means if I tie all my cords together I can reach almost two hundred feet. There are likely to be losses over such a distance and four cords, but I would still be able to cut brush by using solar power.

Once I’d done enough work on the garden to satisfy myself I read a book in the afternoon. It was a hot day so that let the heat flow around and by me while I rested. Then I went to the new bridge log with a paintbrush so I could oil it, but strangely I didn’t have any used motor oil in the pallet shed. I thought I did. I guess I will have to get more from Dennis.

So that the trip wasn’t wasted, I went downstream to look around and brought back the window boxes from Mike and Carol as well as a piece of foam I’d not noticed when I was gathering it all together to finish as much as I could of the new part of the cabin.

I went to the swampy area to fill the boxes with sludge from the pond, but now they are too heavy to move. I left them there to dry out.

That wrapped up my efforts for the day, and soon the sun was descending as I ate a sandwich and set up my ereader for the night.

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Working in the Bush

Posted on April 30, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

I was asleep by eleven last night and dreamt of people I won’t be seeing for a while. This morning I lay in bed and then got up to start a fire. Soon I was warm and setting up the water systems and steps for the sheds and sink out front, and all the other material that have been choking up the sheds. I also rewired the three solar panels I have in the bush to run one controller to charge my batteries. There are a lot of little tasks as well, like lowering the back step and unscrewing the shutters.

Once I was done that for the day, and I relaxed plenty as well, I read the Andrew Weir Martian book, which was quite infantile although the science was good and the story interesting enough. The character acted too much like a jock meets teenager and that made it a bit annoying to read. Also, the main character’s diary or log didn’t seem like a real character wrote it. Too silly in parts that didn’t fit in with the serious parts.

It was late when I stopped reading and it took me a while to fall asleep.

Wednesday, April

I had already decided to come to the bush early today, so I paid my taxes, met Suzanne for lunch, and bought groceries by two in the afternoon. I went by Katie’s place in town for her bicycle and three boxes to help the family move her back today, and then I drove straight to their place in Millville. There I typed a few emails, and unpacked Katie’s stuff and reassembled her bicycle. Soon the family was home and I spent time with them until dinnertime and then I left after Miriam helped me with my tire pressure. Interestingly, both tires on the downhill side through the winter lost about ten pounds of pressure.

I brought my three other solar panels from Dennis’ barn, and stashed them in the pallet shed when I arrived.

The road is in even worse shape now, and there are parts it would be easy to get stuck in. I hope it improves before too long. Maybe I should carry a shovel until I know for sure.

Once I was parked in front of my drive I went to the pallet shed for the shovel and shoveled a trench so the rain over the next week can melt enough snow I can drive in. I don’t like my car in the driveway across from Bashful, although it is likely safe enough. While I was shoveling, three guys went by in a pickup, looking with great interest at what I was doing. That’s always creepy.

Once I was done shoveling, I unloaded the car and moved it to across from Bashful, and then I packed my stuff into my blue pack and went to the stream. It is swollen beyond the other day, and the water is waist deep and running fast. I took off my pants and socks and stuffed them in my dry boots for the second trip, and then waded out with my pack and crossed, although I almost lost my footing. Without the rope I would have.

When I was on the other side, I hesitated, and then went back in for my boots, but halfway across, not weighed down by the pack, it was very dangerous crossing, so I decided I would likely have even more trouble with my boots in my hands. I left them on the other side and walked into the bush with wet boots and no pants or socks. It wasn’t really that bad, for it was warm today.

When I arrived, I went around checking the full water tanks, opening shutters which had closed due to wind, and getting the air out of the main water system. I now have the sink working again. Then I set a fire and cooked onion, two veggie patties with tofu cheese and finished my meal with two cookies. That more than made up for the work I did today.

Now it is nearly ten in the evening, the fire is warm, and I am ready for bed. While I ate I listened to an Ideas show debate on CBC radio about whether to have sanctions against Russia. It is hard to keep up with what is going on in the world.

Thursday, April

I was asleep early last night, nearly as soon as I ate. I thought that might mean I would sleep late today, but instead I was awake at eight. The rain was by times heavy today, but in the gaps, I walked to the creek and checked on the water level. It was still too high to cross that safely, especially when I could see my boots where I’d left them, in no danger from the rising water. I also did a walkabout to pull down dead poplars near the camp for wood. Now my sawhorse is piled high with scavenged trees from today and when I was here in the winter. I am not that close to running out of wood in the woodshed, but I like to have wood to saw up when I have a sunny day and the electric chainsaw is up and running.

Other than those relatively simple tasks, I did nothing other than read. I am reading through Ben Bova’s Voyager series, noting again the time spent on jealousy and hatred, sex and petty bickering. The tech is interesting, if a bit magical, but interestingly I’ve been thinking about that book lately although I didn’t remember the title.

I started Dean Koontz’s Innocence as well while my Kobo was charging through USB, and it reminds me of Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere. It features some of the same type of magical two types of cities.

Friday, April

It rained fairly heavily today, so I did little beyond gather some more wood and try to sort some stuff in the workshop. I’m looking for an Edison type fitting I can attach to my old lamp so I can wire the new bulb from Dennis into it. That way I will have a regular lamp wired into the main house system and sporting a LED. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the fitting I was looking for, at least now. I looked through my drills, and there is a Mastercraft but it is a nine volt, so I’m not sure that would work for what Dennis wants for his workplace.

I spent the rest of the day reading and listening to the radio. It was a lazy day, complete with a nap which meant I was up until three in the morning. But I have nowhere to be and nothing to make me get up early. I can afford to sleep in here.

Saturday, April

Because I was up so late, I slept in until ten-thirty. I was tired even after I woke up, but I turned on the radio and thought about the day while I waited for Saturday shows like Quirks and Quarks.

It was another rainy day today, but I did a trek to the creek and waded across to recover my boots, check on my car and the condition of the driveway. I cleared the felled pin cherry from the drive, and set up the step for the pallet shed, and did a bit of a hike downstream. A moose had followed my trail for part of the way and then swung over to Bashful’s only to come back and cross the road into the discontinued logging road across from my driveway. Likely the moose came through early this morning or last night, by the looks of the tracks. I could have shovelled my driveway some more, but I decided that I will likely go to town on Wed and then back by Thurs, so the snow will be gone by then.

By the time I was back in the cabin the water I’d put on the stove to heat for a shower was warm and I poured it into the shower bag and took a shower. Then I set up the hot water jug on the roof to catch the excess from the drinking water. I tried to repost the cream separator jug, but the ground is still frozen so my pounding the stake into the dirt was to no avail.

I did another walk about for wood, although I also went to the swamp south of here and saw where deer had been crossing. Apparently there have been a lot of deer winter-killed this year, but at least one of them on my land is OK.

It is now late evening and the fire is keeping the cabin warm while I think what I am to do with the night. I should try to get to sleep early. The cabin can be a good place for sleep, although I wake to the slightest sound. That is likely a legacy from the mouse days.

Sunday, April

Although this is starting to sound like a litany, I was again reading through my day. I slept fairly early last night and with the rain of the day I ventured outside but rarely. I let the rain come down around me and I read a few books. One of those, Dean Koontz’s Innocence I’ve talked about in another post.

Monday, April

Another rainy day, enough so that you are likely getting sick of hearing about it. Today I did a bit of a walkabout, some organizing in the workshop, and searching for some electrical components. Also, since the snow cover is almost gone, I pulled up a few rocks for future building purposes and cut some bushes near where I think I will make a pond. We’ll see if that comes to pass, but I have plotted out the expansion of the land for the garden, to provide a slug barrier from the woods, and where I think the pond might best be placed.

The rain was by times heavy today, so even the snow behind the cabin is disappearing quickly. When the sun came out in late afternoon though, the greenhouse was warm enough I could have slept in there. Maybe I should move in a bunk for daytime naps once the sun is more constant.

It is dark tonight and when I went outside to let the frying pan soak in the yard it was still. It has been windy all day, but as I walked down the hill I was struck by a mournful feeling of loss and isolation. There is only me out here and the woods are still and chilly and wet. The cabin is cozy but for a moment I sensed how fragile that protection from the elements is. It usually takes me a while to acclimatize myself to the isolation here in the bush when I first arrive, and this time it will likely take longer. I plan to leave on Monday to check on my marks, as well as visit Mento in Nackawic. Hopefully he is OK, for it has been a long time since I’ve heard from him.

By the fall it is difficult to leave the bush, but by this time of year it is sometimes lonely to stay. Humans are resistant to change and I am no different.

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The Righting of a Hollow Tree

Posted on April 29, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

I had a dream a few nights ago that I was standing before a huge fallen tree, some sixteen metres in width and hollow, with a bemused expression on my face. In my dream I was wondering how I could possibly right the trunk. My plan was apparently to cut it off about eighteen metres from the stump, and then lever it upright so that I might roof over the hollow chamber and then make it a two floor house or cabin. I envisioned pulleys and counterweights, and leverage and chainsaws.

Significantly, at no time did I fear the task was impossible. I spent a moment pondering whether I wanted to do it, but not a second considering it to be impossible. For many who know me, this would come as no surprise. I am interested in these types of feats of physical and engineering prowess, what we might call the action of the mind upon the physical world. The building of my IM006723_Whimsey2boat would be one such enterprise, as well as the cabin in which I am writing this pensive account. Even my books are seen more as a product of endurance rather than torturous reflection and intellectual virtuosity.

In fact, manipulation of the physical world is pathetically easy. The laws of physics are available to all and we use them daily in even the most mundane of our activities. We kick a door closed behind us, entrusting its stored momentum to complete the action, lean into the curve on a motorcycle, using centripetal force to keep us upright. The mere exercise of those laws, the strain of them in the physical world, is of increasingly less concern. I think now about other ways in which the world is evidenced upon my senses which no amount of leverage can force to my will.

This past year I had a relationship end sadly, and from my point of view, suddenly. Perhaps because of the way it evaporated, I was left with less in my hands than I would have thought. I am confronted once again how unnecessary I am to the lives of those I hold dear, and approach many of my relationships with suspicion where once I was assured of their solidity.

Old friends seem to merely suffer my existence and I am drawn to the memory of those who have already parachuted out of my fragile and loosely arranged friendship group.

The shining light in this are two new friends, as though more were needed to fill the gap, who rushed in and became a comfort against the late spring storms and winter squalls. I have nothing to offer these two, and perhaps that is why I trust them more. They come to me, I am by times convinced, for me and me alone, instead of the many ways in which I can be called upon to right a tree, offer psychological solace, build or break something, lend money, and all the other ways in which I have been of service. These two beautiful people will no doubt disappear from my life like so many others, but I don’t live in eager anticipation of that. Instead I cling to an afternoon spent with trust and compassion, one bright memory against a torrent of use, avarice, and thoughtlessness.

By contrast, the righting of a hollow tree seems easy.

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In the Cabin

Posted on April 25, 2015 by Barry Pomeroy

The flight to the land really begins with my last day in town. I had to input some grades and then a number of people wanted to see me, so I organized Jackie just after I dealt with my grades and met her on campus. She came a bit later so I only had twenty minutes or so before I met with Vesna. We said goodbye and then Vesna and I went to the spot in the sun that Colleen had shown me. We had our usual pleasant rambling conversation and then it was time to spend the afternoon with Eileen and Colleen. We wandered around downtown and then into the legislature where we finally ended up in the bathroom entrance, which is fancier than it sounds.

Once we left and listened to Eileen’s reading for her femfest event this weekend it was time to meet Felipe and Sheri. We waited in the lobby of a clinic and then they took us to Vi-Ann where Jonathan and Fralic joined us for a meal, kind of. By the time Eliakim came, we were done eating so he just grabbed a snack and then everyone split up. Colleen and I walked Eileen to the bus stop where we had a dear if quick farewell, and then she left us. Eliakim drove Colleen and I home where Colleen and I were able to spend another hour or so together until it was time to leave. On the drive home she said the sweetest thing. “Drive slower,” she said, wanting our last few moments to last longer. I wanted that too, but we both worried she’d be in trouble for being out late.

Once I dropped Colleen off, and went back home, I packed, prepared for the next day, and found my old computer’s hard drive had died. I didn’t need it right then, so I concentrated on getting to sleep early, as much as that was possible with thinking about the day. I’m going to miss my gals. I’ve grown to love them so much so soon and now I am on the east coast far away from them.

 

Friday, April

The six fifteen rising was nasty enough, but I persevered and soon I was eating breakfast and waiting for my cab ride. The cab was early enough and I was tired enough that I forgot my toothbrush, but soon I was waiting at the Winnipeg and then the Toronto airport. I caught up on email and talked to Holly, but the time crawled while I watched a distant and immature dad with his two daughters make both cry at different occasions within an hour. The mother didn’t seem to notice and the older daughter was on her phone.

Mike and Carol were there to greet me and I found my heavy kit bag almost immediately. Soon we were at the Saigon where the waiter recognized me and made the same dish as a year before. Once we were home, in the new apartment, I stayed up a bit, but I was tired from too many nights and not enough sleep and I was asleep by ten-thirty, eight-thirty my time.

The next morning I was awake before dawn and helping Mike and Carol unpack dishes. Then we ate breakfast and by noon I met Ross and Tanya and we picked up Katie to take her home for the weekend. Dennis came to greet us and soon we were sitting around the table as a family while Miriam explained her science project. Miriam and Dennis helped me to start my car, which started well once I cleared its throat by pressing the accelerator to the floor and then letting it catch. I had used gas stabilizer in the fall and Dennis put in 20 litres of new gas before we started it. Within a minute it was going and then I had it parked in the yard waiting for Miriam to come on the test ride, which has become our tradition.

I left for the bush at eight-thirty, which is late, and once I talked to Bashful on the road, it was even later. He seemed happy to see me and although he was slightly sloshed, and a bit gushy, I was soon parked across from him and ferrying my stuff to the creek side. I lined across in the frigid metre-deep current and then tied the rope on the other side. Then I ferried over each of my three bags. I had too much stuff for that venture. The slog through the woods was painful. The snow gathered in my boots and I sunk into deep tracks and my already frigid feet became painful and then numbed as I made two trips into the bush, coming back for my other packs as one greet too onerous.

Finally, creeping uphill inches at a time in metre-high snow, I went on ahead with a light load and opened the cabin. That way, in the dark, I would have my tracks to follow at least. On the last trip, in which my feet were numb and cold, I brought the heavy kit bag and a light pack, and finally I was at the cabin prying my boots off on the porch and hanging up my pants after wringing out my socks.

Soon I had a roaring fire and although I worried I’d damaged my feet, they soon felt more normal as I scurried around gathering more wood and packing away the food and sundries I’d packed in.

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